The Real Thing ?

You’ve seen it and I know you have.  It’s right on the boxes, new and improved, better taste, these are just some of the ways that advertisers want to let you know that their products have changed for the better.  OK, do they really think we’re that stupid.  Take a closer look at the box. Is it smaller, is it larger, most likely not larger.  This is just some of the ways that companies in their advertisers think they can pull the wool over our eyes.  New and improved usually means less of the product or new look same great taste.  That’s always malarkey, yes I used the “m“ word.  What they’re usually doing is taking out the more expensive ingredients and putting in lower cost, lower quality ingredients.  Take, for instance,

 the great cola fiasco of 1984, where one of our favorite products changed the name to “new” cola.  They told us that we Americans wanted sweeter tasting cola than the original formula which had never been changed.  What B.S.  What they were really up to was changing the original formula to a less costly formula at a time that their profits were through the roof. So I ask you, why in the world, when you’re at the top of your game, would you want to change your strategy or in this case your formula.  I can describe it in two words - corporate greed.  As if the high “muckity muck Potentates” that run the cola company weren’t already making salaries so high, they would be able to feed most of the starving people in the world for at least two years, they wanted more.  I’m sorry, some of you may disagree with me, but those kinds of salaries are immoral, and then they want to gouge us for every penny we have to enjoy their products. I guess you’re wondering what started Keith on this rampage against these companies and their advertisers.  Well, I’m gonna tell you and here’s how it goes.

I went into my neighborhood grocery store and I wanted to get a package of my favorite cookies, Pecan Sandies. I’ve loved them since I was a little kid. That’s right, the ones that were baked in a hollow tree.  Well, to my amazement on the package, in bold writing, as if it was exploding off the package, were the words that said new look, same great taste.  The first thing that ran through my head was “OK, let’s hope they haven’t ruined the best tasting cookie out there. So against my better judgment, I bought a package, opened it up and I noticed one thing, the cookies were smaller in diameter and thinner than they used to be.  Again, against my better judgment, I tasted one. Well, let me tell you this, they’re not even close to the same great taste, there not even the same taste at all. They taste more like a plain old batter sugar cookie than a true shortbread cookie.  What have these little guys in this hollow tree been up to. I’ll tell you what they’ve been up to, putting the shaft to us, the ones that have enjoyed their cookies since we were children.  They think that this wording on their package is going to bamboozle us and brain wash us into thinking that these are the same cookies we’ve enjoyed for these many years.  I used to think that those little guys and that hollow tree where the greatest bakers in the world.  Now, all I can think of is are they stupid or do they really think that we couldn’t see and taste the difference.  They haven’t done a thing that would make me want to buy their cookies anymore.  They taste like the least expensive cookies that you can get at the discount store that are no name brand cookies and there’s nothing special about them anymore.  So, what makes them think that I’m going to pay a premium price for an inferior lousy tasting cookie.  I learned their song by heart when I was a kid because I love Pecan Sandies so much but to all you little executives at that hollow tree cookie company, I know it may not matter much in the long run.  I have no reason to ever buy your cookies again and until you learn that you can’t fool your customers, I

won’t buy your cookies anymore.  Oh, and that reminds me about hot dogs. I’m old enough to remember when they put real meat in a hot dog. If you buy anything but an all beef hot dog, it tastes like this morning’s cereal that you’ve left and gotten soggy.  Even the premium hot dogs that run at almost $6.00 a pack now taste more like cereal than the hot dogs I had when I was a kid.  I guess old Oscar just can’t afford to buy meat to put in his hot dogs anymore because he has to pay the mortgage on his mansion, his yachts, and alimony to his four or five wives.  Someday I hope the American public is smart enough to demand that the ingredients in our food products stay pure and honest. if they’re going to reduce the size of a cookie, they need to tell the consumer that fact. If they are going to change the ingredients to make it less expensive to make, that also needs to be disclosed.  We demand as Americans not to be deceived by corporations and their advertisers and that when a product states that it’s new and improved, it should be proven than that the product has been improved.  In other words if you’re buying a stain remover and it doesn’t work any better or worse than it did before, they should not be allowed to put on the face of the package new and improved.  Sorry y’all, just had to get this off my chest.