Hate

You know it seems to me that it’s so much wasted energy to be mean to people.  I have always tried my entire life to be kind.  I know it’s easier to learn to be hateful but it takes more time and energy to be hateful.  The golden rule doesn’t mean that you wait to see how people will treat you before you treat them with kindness.  I believe that a kind word will take you further in this life and the next than saying something terrible to anyone.  And I’ve always been of the opinion that if you try to be nice and it’s not well received then turn around and walk away.  Yes, I’ve had my feelings hurt many times when I’ve said a kind word and got the opposite reply back.  I must tell you that you will get more kindness from people if you start off being kind yourself.  If you want to fight, believe me there are people out there that will oblige you.  I’ve always liked the saying “I’m a lover not a fighter”, but I must tell you I am neither, I guess I’m somewhere in between.  I have stood my ground many a time when someone was hitting me in the face with their fists and not defending myself. It will usually end the same way, they give up and go away. I don’t advise this method of taking care of hateful people because I can tell you it’s very painful.  Luckily I have found new strategies to keep me out of those troubles.  I’ve found it’s just not worth the trouble and effort to be a hateful human being and if I have to be that miserable to hate everyone else I would have no reason to go on living. 

Yes, I’m struggling right now with some depression from losing my job but there is good news on that front too. I started at the end of July at Walmart.  All of you who have given me words of comfort and prayed for me and given me information, you don’t know how much it has helped me.  My outlook on life has never changed. I have always thought that friendship was something you sought after love from someone and is something that you cherish and the only true thing worth fighting for in your life is your family.  I love my God and I don’t mean religion. My Savior died for me and anyone else who will ask me to follow them, I just can’t see following people that say they are the right one and only religion when there seems to be so much corruption within every religion.  That doesn’t mean, however, that I don’t believe in assembling with others even if it in a in a particular religion because just as it is in every aspect of life, there is good and there is evil.  Evil gets more of the press, and gossip because it’s more sensational than good.  If you don’t believe me, pick up any newspaper in our great country and try and find good news. I will bet you that over 90% of any major newspaper and any cable or network news you can find is all over 90% bad news.  I have gotten to the point that I just don’t want all of that negativity in my life. 

You see, I’m one of those 1960s flower children that learned the greatest word in the human language is love and John Lennon had it almost right when he sang about “all you need is love” but I would add a good and sincere prayer to God is all you need.  I have found out also that people that will pray for you sincerely can work miracles.  When my prayers were combined with others, no matter whom or what we’re praying for, it will work. Sometimes it may take a little while to actually see the miracle of God’s handiwork, or what we pray for isn’t exactly what he has in mind, but remember he knows more of what’s best for us than we do and those prayers are always answered.  So to those of you who prayed for me, thank you from the bottom of my heart and I want to know that I love you not because of what you have done for me this time, but because you were always there and I was just too stupid or blind to see all the friends that I really do have.  I can’t help but tell you again how much you mean to me and thank you every single one of you whether you prayed for me are not, whether you even like me are not, it makes absolutely no difference to me, you were part of me, you all are part of me and you’ll always be part of me.  I remember two brothers, both of them older than me and I believe what I heard is that they have both passed away and I am so sorry to hear that even though I was the recipient of a broken nose and many black eyes from both of them.  I can hold no anger or animosity toward them because they are part of who I am.  I truly believe that somewhere within them they cared enough about me to be angry at me for whatever reason it was.  They were not the only ones that ever struck me in anger and I guess I did rub some people the wrong way, but to anyone and everyone who I have ever hurt or made angry, you have my sincere apologies.  I just had to get this off my chest because I’ve had my share of bad news this year and I’m feeling a little down and I needed to reaffirm my heart that I can’t let bad news turn me into someone I am not.

A man’s first car is almost a sacred thing to him, even though he probably got rid of it when it started the cost too much money, but his love for it never dies until he does.  I remember a 1963 olive green Chevrolet Impala SS Super Sports, two door with a 327 high performance engine.  It’s too bad though that anyone who knows me knows my first car was really a Chevrolet Impala four door, 283 engine with an automatic transmission, but it was olive green in color. It was passed down from my father, then my brother to me. I always wanted to have another one to call my own and I tease my wife that if I ever win the lottery, I would buy one to fix up and restore.  I guess I also would have to find a red 1970 Volkswagen Beetle with four on the floor and fix it up as well. Those were the two cars that were my first cars and meant the most to me.  I remember I used to clean the ‘63 up so much that I thought I was going to wear out the paint and the seat covers.

 

I will always remember the first accessory I bought for that 1963 Chevrolet, even though it was stolen shortly after I bought it in the parking lot at Tech High School. It was a Radio Shack eight track stereo tape player.  I know a lot of you also remember every accessory and piece you added to your first car. These are the memories that make a lifetime worthwhile.  I know guys that drove total pieces of junk, however I bet most of them would trade in a brand new Cadillac for one just like what they had.  It’s almost a bond as strong as his marriage, but not quite.  I know that many of you can remember the day you traded it in and cannot figure out why you ever did it. I know that I didn’t get much for my ’63, but I did get a little red 1970 VW Bug. It was the absolute best fun driving car I have ever owned.

I not only fell in love with that 1970 VW Bug, but I also fell in love for the first time in my life with a young lady in that little red Volkswagen Bug.  Sometimes you just have to dream of what used to be to be thankful for what you have today.  That eight track tape player was the worst piece of junk that was ever made but I loved it dearly. I remember the first eight track tape I purchased was Helen Reddy and, it’s funny, I can’t remember any of the others that I had, but I had several before they were all stolen.  Today I use my IPhone to stream 1960’s music through my surround sound system in my BMW and it doesn’t give me any problems at all. It doesn’t eat tapes for lunch, it just streams music that I love and brings back many memories of the past.  Those two cars are long gone, but when I hear Seals and Croft or good old Beach Boys songs, I feel like I’m driving that 1963 Chevrolet Impala or my VW bug once again with my best girl Ursula by my side.  If you had your first car back, who would you want sitting in the seat beside you enjoying those old time memories.  Second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Men are from mars

There has been a misconception in this world and that is that one must tear down someone else to feel important.  Too many times people step on others on their way to the top.  This does not have to be; it is not and never has been that one person is better than the other.  We are all different and every single one of us has their strengths and their weaknesses.  Those who prey on others’ weaknesses are scum.  I have always been a champion for those who are not strong or too old or too young to care for themselves.  I have seen it happen over the years.  I have seen a good cause become something less than what it should be.  I can’t figure out why and it tends to aggravate me greatly.

I have a daughter and two granddaughters and one grandson, so I want you to understand that I want the same opportunity, compensation and rights for the ladies in my family as I do my grandson.  The thing I want to talk about today is what I perceive to be the wrong that the feminist movement has done to young boys and men.  Ladies, you are as good as men; you are as smart as men and in your own way, you are as strong as men ever thought about being.  But there are differences and these differences do not change the fact that women are equal and necessary citizens of the world.  I also want you to know that I deplore abuse of any kind to any person for any reason!  Rape is a crime not just against females. It also happens to men and boys and no matter what gender it happens to, it is a crime not only against that person, it is a crime against humanity itself!

The de-masculinization of the male population is uncalled for.  The feminist movement should have never been meant to take away anything from the male of the species; on the contrary the partnership between men and women has always strengthened our society.  But it seems that even a boy in elementary school is molded into what the female image of a boy is supposed to be.  Girls are said to be more mature at a younger age and I question this hypothesis, because it seems to me that that is only true depending on how you judge what maturity is.  In saying that I don’t want to take anything away from the young ladies, in their own way they are more mature but judged in a different light, they are no more mature than their young male counterparts.  When elementary school teachers teach, they teach to reach the females in the classroom easier than the males. This is because most of them are female and there’s nothing wrong with that.  However, I would like to point out that when a young man is approached from a male intellectual vantage point and taught with a male perspective, they do extremely well.

When young boys are roughhousing and fighting, it’s not just something bad to be punished for, even though I deplore violence and always have, it is a part of a learning process for young men and it develops a masculine outlook on life.  When boys were made to suppress their rambunctiousness and their foolishness that is typically male, it is stifling a part of a man that has learned to be strong and forceful.  I know that these traits carried too far can be dangerous and can cause problems later on in life.  I also know that aggression against anyone is wrong.  I would however like someone to explain to me why the most beautiful young women are attracted to the bad boys.  I need to know why it is the female of our species is attracted to dangerous young men.  I think I have finally found out why, at least in my own mind.  It is because the female equates the bad boy image to strength, which is not necessarily true, but one might think that the bad boy would be able to protect and care for her better than the class nerd, which has been proven to be false. 

I felt like I’d never fit in because I had gotten mixed signals my entire life from the females that were around me.  Ladies want their men to be sweet and kind but at the same time they want them to be strong, ruthless and vicious if necessary.  Women want their men to dress nicely and look good in a suit and tie, but will turn their heads when the muscular biker dude walks by and, even if it’s inside, they sigh just a little.  The teachers preach and browbeat and punish our young men for being what they consider unruly and aggressive.  But you can see the young girls whispering to each other about the young man that was just sent to the principal’s office because what little girl doesn’t like a rebel.  I know what you ladies that I went to school with are saying. I never liked the bad boys, OK, then let me ask you this. Which young men did you pay more attention to, was it the one that sat in class and did his homework quietly and did everything his parents and teachers asked him to do?

The feminist movement has always pronounced that men and women are alike.  I don’t think I even have to protest that statement because most of us know for a fact that men and women are different and always have been and always will be.  We’re not just different in physical and medical ways, we’re different in mentality as well as the perception of a male is totally different of that of female.  As an example; a husband comes home with a birthday present for his wife, he gives it to her and he sees that there is disappointment on her face so he asks her why?  She explains that she had been giving him hints about what she wanted for the last four weeks.  Most women would take into account that men just don’t listen to them and I’m here to tell you that that’s not true.  I know that most women think that hinting, beating around the bush, or suggesting something is enough to make a man understand what they’re saying and men’s brains to not work that way. We are direct and to the point. We don’t beat around the bush or hint to one of our buddies, we tell them point blank good, bad, or otherwise. We say that in the fewest words possible, even sometimes just a grunt. 

When next you talk to your husband and he’s busy doing something, I want you to try this. Say something to him point blank, in as few words as possible and I do mean as few words as possible and see what his reaction is.  Then I want you to beat around the bush and hint something and take a long time to say something that should only take three or four words to say.  Now, I want you to look at is his reaction to the short to the point statement and then how long it takes for him to completely zone away from you with your long rambling sentence that is hinting something.  The point I’m trying to make is men will lose interest in even a short conversation when it is not direct and to the point, it’s the way our minds work.  This seems to get worse as we get older and I apologize to every female in my life that I have done this to but, believe me, it’s not my fault, it’s the way men are wired.  We are different than women who don’t like direct and to the point. It seems to hurt their feelings if you don’t go around the world and sneak up on the subject from behind.  I don’t want you to get me wrong. I don’t want to change that in the ladies in my life, it’s part of who they are.  I ask you, why do you have to change your boys and men to fit better in this scenario for you, remember it’s who they are and who they were and who they will be in the future.

Women can be as physically strong as men but not in the same way and that may not be a statement that fits every woman in the world but it does, however, pertain to most.  There is a physical difference that makes women stronger in the lower half of their body than in the upper half.  It is absolutely the opposite way with men, the upper half of their body is stronger.

The one thing that really a annoys me is this notion of equal pay for equal work.  I am 58 years old and every job I have ever done I have started out making less than any of my counterparts, no matter what gender on a job.  I do know however they are talking about a man and a woman that both have 10 years doing the exact same job making an unequal rate of pay.  I have known many men doing the same jobs, with the same amount of experience, that do not make the same rate of pay. Now you can’t call that gender discrimination.  I don’t want you to think that I personally think that that scenario is right but both of those men negotiated what they get in compensation for their respective jobs.

So I want you to think about the fact that you want all your little boys to be good little boys but you want your men to have that mystique of foreboding. If you still want to argue whether it’s true or not, just look at what the Vampire Diaries or Twilight have made since their inception.  I don’t know how an equal balance of both good and evil makes one a better man, but I’m convince that women like us better that way. I also ask you why it is that young women marry the bad boys, and within a few years divorce them and look for the good boys they ignored while still in school.

If women held all the important jobs in the world and men were only relegated to the menial tasks, do you really think that these men would have any self-esteem, do you really think you want a man that is weak and totally dependent on the women in his life.  I don’t think so.

We need strong masculine man and we need women that can take charge and get the job done, but we also need them to be our loving husbands and wives.  So I beg of you, don’t overdo the feminist movement to the point that men are no longer feeling needed and wanted and masculine. I don’t think you’ll like the outcome.

Just to set the record straight, I am for total equality for women and always have been.  I just want you to know that I am also for the total equality of men as well.

                    The day that Disneyland fell silent and paid homage

I know that we adult Disney nerds realized exactly how privileged we are to be able to go to a place like Walt Disney World and Disneyland.  There are so many people in this world and even in our country that cannot afford the extravagance of going to a Disney park.  There are a lot of people right now suffering through the ravages of war; there are children that have lost their parents and parents that have lost their children.  We have enjoyed an extremely long peace within the borders of our country where many others have not.  The peace that I speak of was broken on September 11, 2001. Our country had been attacked viciously and unprovoked.  Those that gave their lives that day will always be remembered just as those that died on December 7, 1941 in Honolulu, Hawaii. 

We were in Los Angeles staying with an actor friend, Daniel Roebuck, and he knocked on our door that morning waking us up and telling us that we had to come downstairs to see this. There had been a major disaster.  What I saw was unbelievable. The horror that went through my mind was extremely intense.  We had planned that day to go to the real Hollywood movie studios because some of them gave guided tours of their studios but, of course, none of the studios were open. Even Disneyland was on lockdown.  Later we had heard that all of the Disney Parks worldwide had been shut down and evacuated.  This was only the second time in history that Disneyland had been closed due to a national tragedy.  The first was when President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. We went the next day to Disneyland and there was extreme security. Every car was checked thoroughly and we were only allowed to park in the faraway parking lot.  Even in the opening show, they gave homage to those that lost their lives the day before and had announced that there would be a national time for mourning on this day and it would be observed throughout the parks and it was. We were in Disney’s California at the studio limousine ride when the announcement came over that it was time for the memorial to be observed. Every cast member, every single person stepped out onto the street and bowed their head in silence.  You could’ve heard a pin drop. The music was turned off and no one was saying a word. Children were as quiet as they could be even though it was a very special time at Disneyland.

I hope we never see a moment like that again.  It inspired me that everyone was still and quiet and paying homage to those that had died.  Everyone there at Disneyland had stopped their day to say a prayer and remember.  So I ask you to just take a moment out of your day to stop and pay respect to those that are no longer with us because of this cowardly attack on September 11 2001 and, if by chance you have another moment, I would beg of you to please remember all of our fallen heroes that gave their last measure of devotion so that we could have the freedom to be able to share these wonderful magical Walt Disney Parks we love so dear.

Just a personal side note, our plane was the fifth plane to take off from LAX after September 11, 2001,   and we felt very safe because the many soldiers on leave had been recalled and flew with us on our way back to Atlanta.

          God bless all the soldiers and their loved ones that keep us safe and thank you.

PPS Disease

 Brenda B., a childhood friend and lovely person, reminded me of the horrible devastating disease that affects men more than women.  Most men that have this disease are afflicted with it from birth.  There are many symptoms that maybe noticed early in a man’s life but cannot be detected with accuracy until middle age or later in a man’s aging process.  The older he gets the more one can detect the symptoms because they become extremely obvious to everyone around him.  It seems to cost billions of dollars every year to treat the effects on the men that are afflicted with this problem.  It seems to take its toll on the spouses of these men more than anyone else.  Women tend to need counseling to help them cope with the disease that has afflicted there husbands.  I myself have had my wife continually complaining if I don’t take the necessary steps to keep this disease in check.  I know that you men that are afflicted with it have tried your best to take your medicine and do the things that it takes to keep yourself from allowing this disease to overtake your life.  There is no cure that we know about at this point in time and there does not seem to be any cure predicted in the near future.  I know there has been research done, but it only seems to treat the symptoms and not the cure.  Some doctors say that fresh air and activities are a way of curbing the ravages of this devastation that afflicts us men.

 Let me tell you what I do to keep it in check.  I read and I write my silly little stories so that when my memory finally is taken over completely, like ravages so many of us, so that I remember how it used to be.  I love to go to the Disney Parks and walk around and look at others that are showing the same symptoms that I have.  I sit and watch Mickey Mouse cartoons for hours and maybe a couple of Donald Duck marathons just so that the Doctor can’t complain.  If you are afflicted with the Peter Pan Syndrome, I beg you, I plead with you to indulge in the strong medicine available today, and go and listen to the Disney Nerds Pod Casts. It only takes 1 hour at a time to control this disease for at least one week.  The Peter Pan Syndrome has affected me for much too long. I need to go to Walt Disney World so that I can rehabilitate myself because, you see, I don’t want to grow up.  First star to the right and straight on till morning.

Before my mother passed away I had found a magic in my life that seemed to radiate from me.  But when she passed away in 1984 of breast cancer at 52 years of age I lost that magic.  I had loved all things movies, and especially Disney movies, so I dove headfirst into an overindulgence of everything Disney because it was one of the most magical times of my life to sit and watch a Mickey Mouse cartoon or see Pollyanna.  I especially liked the music that went along with everything Disney, from the amusement Parks to the animation and even to Disney movies.  I had thought the magic had gone out of my life forever, but I was wrong. I met one of the most wonderful musicians or should I say magicians, because everything he and his brother did was magical.  They wrote music that got you through your work day with pleasure.  Goodness gracious, they even wrote a song that helped children take their medicine.  And who do you think made being a chimney sweep sound like the greatest job in the world.

 We went to a Disneyanna Convention at Walt Disney World and I so much wanted to meet Richard Sherman, yes that’s right, one of the musical writing team of Richard and Robert Sherman, the Sherman Brothers, who wrote almost every one of the Disney songs that you remember as a child.  I was so hoping he was as good a human being as I dreamed he would be.  Remember that a dream is a wish your heart makes and dreams do come true. Richard Sherman was not only a good person, he was a wonderful man. He seemed almost delighted to meet us and, believe me, I’ve met plenty of older movie stars and famous people in my time and they don’t all think very much about meeting you.  Let me tell you, meeting Richard Sherman was like meeting a beloved uncle you haven’t seen in years. As we introduced ourselves he was shocked and surprised when I told him I was married to this lovely lady named Ursula. He immediately stopped the introductions and I don’t remember how long he said they had been married but he said I am married to an Ursula too.  So you see, we had a special bonding moment as much as one can with a total stranger, but let me tell you if you’ve ever met Richard Sherman you know what I’m about to say is the absolute truth. Richard Sherman has never met a stranger in his life. His love for people shines about him wherever he goes and God bless him wherever that life may take him.  We were lucky enough to have met Richard Sherman in 1997 and then again in 2000.

I don’t remember, I don’t think it was at this show where we met Robert Sherman but it was also another show that Haley Mills was appearing at and we walked around and rushed around trying to get upstairs to where we could meet her and they closed the line off just as I got there.  I’ve always been extremely understanding of exactly how much time and effort a star puts into meeting and greeting their fans at this kind of a show, so I did not raise a fuss. I just understood and watched her from a distance but you know I would not have brought it up if that would have been the end of the story.  Lo and behold, a couple of years later she was scheduled to come to a Knoxville, Tennessee,  so Ursula and I secured the proper days off so that we could go and meet her.  As life plays horrible tricks on all of us that meeting was not to be, you see her wonderful father, the actor John Mills had just passed away.  He too had been in a wonderful Disney movie, The Swiss Family Robinson. My heart was broken again and this time not just for missing out on meeting Haley Mills but because the world had lost another great man, God give him rest in peace, John Mills. 

We thought maybe there would be a slight possibility that she might be there the next year. My prayers were answered. She was there the next year and my wife and I carried her a bouquet of pink roses.  She was astonished and did not know how to react to someone bringing her roses and she was so delighted with that and, after we had paid for our autographs, she gave us another one free.  It’s not necessarily the magic of Disney that rekindled the spark the magic, but it was more like the people behind Disney that brought back the magic in my life.  So if you’ve ever wondered why my BMW has Mickey Mouse seat covers, steering we’ll cover and floor mats, this might give you just a little insight as to why.  I have met at least 100 or more Disney alumni and I’m here to tell you that I do not remember any of them being less than gracious and taking loving care to give us the autographs that we wanted.  They usually give up their time unselfishly especially when there is a child present.  I truly believe that the legacy that Walt Disney himself left behind is not the magic of the movies, it’s not the magic of theme Parks, what it is, is the love that he had for his creations and those that helped him create it.  They all, the Disney alumni, take great pains to show this love to all of us and I personally wish to thank them for helping me regain that childish love of magic and zest for life that they all seem to have.  God has always brought me back from the brink of despair and depression in some of the most marvelous ways and using some of the most marvelous people that have ever come into my life.  Thank you my Lord and thank you to all of those that have been a part of my life. 

Field Trip To Shiloh

I just got back from a quick trip to Pickwick Dam near Pittsburg Landing, Savannah, Tennessee and Shiloh National Battlefield Park.  It brought back the memories of a field trip that we took from Charjean Elementary School.  It was the longest field trip that I can remember. We started before daylight and there had to be at least four buses or more that came to pick us up and I remember we did not get back until way after nightfall.  That’s right, we went to the National Battlefield, depending on where you were born, it was referred to as the Battle of Pittsburg Landing or it was named after a church near where the battle started, this church had a Jewish name that meant “ place of peace “which was Shiloh. 

We stopped a few times along the way to see some of the important sites leading up to the Shiloh National Battlefield.  The one I remember the most was a small stone church, I believe it was a Presbyterian church, and the ladies of the Presbyterian Church Historical Society invited us all off the bus and told us of the story of this simple little stone church that was used for a hospital for both sides of the conflict at various times as the battles raged around this Presbyterian church.  They also showed us the damage that was done by musket balls in the building itself and one large dent that was caused by a cannonball.  I’m not sure but I think they gave every one of us a small cup of lemonade and a cookie and sent us on our way.  It was a long and tedious bus ride so we greatly appreciated these ladies of the church giving us a rest and a touch of refreshment.  I really don’t remember what we did about food on this long trip but I’m sure we ate somewhere at some time are other, but I guess that’s not really important to my story so we’ll continue with our trip. 

The bus finally pulled into the Shiloh National Battlefield and the teachers all got off the buses and met with some Park Rangers. The teachers got back on board and had some color badges that we put on, and each bus had its own designated color. Now if I remember correctly we were the blue bus.  A lot of this is sketchy in my memory so forgive me if I’m wrong but what transpired after that was some of us went in to see a movie about the Battle of Shiloh there was a lot of recreation from clubs and organizations that recreate the major battles of the Civil War. I’m not sure how the girls felt about it but us boys really enjoyed the film about the battle of Shiloh and it showed us history to enlighten us all why the battle took place.  The north was trying to take over a major intersection of south to north and east to west from a railroad junction that was in Corinth Mississippi to stop the supplies and soldiers of the confederacy from getting to the battlefields of the Civil War.  In other buses Park Rangers boarded and then narrated the trip around the battlefields.  They showed us the Hornets’ Nest where the union soldiers stopped and could not be pushed any further away.

The confederate soldiers named it the Hornets’ Nest because it could not be penetrated and the union soldiers were stinging them like hornets that would be protecting their nest.  We also saw the bloody pond where a lot of soldiers went to try and tend to their wounds but died and bled out in the pond causing it to be named the bloody pond. There were a lot of other battle sites around.  One of the most strategic points was at Pittsburg Landing where union soldiers landed to reinforce and tried to take back the land that they had lost in the early morning hours.  I will make a long story short. Eventually the union soldiers were victorious and pushed back the confederate soldiers.  Grant’s forces only numbered about 30,000 but with fresh reinforcements they inflicted heavy casualties on the 40,000 confederate soldiers that were battle weary and worn out.  By the end of this battle it was known as the bloodiest battle in American history in its time. The casualties numbered more than 23,000. 

Time takes its toll on us as we go through life and we pay dearly some times. I have no complaints for I have been blessed more than most. Time and life have given me my memories that were worth it at every turn. That’s not to say that I haven't suffered or experienced loss or pain, because I have and I know more is to come, but I have no regrets.  I have my health problems just as everyone has. I have noticed that my health is getting worse as the years go by and I hope that God allows me to live for a long time yet. I have more to see and do. If not, don't mourn me, celebrate me, I have loved every breath I have taken and every step I have walked. The things I have seen, the places I have gone, the women I have loved and those that loved me back are more than any person could have dreamed about coming true. I have a loving family and friends that keep me happy. What more could any man have asked for. My wife of 32 years is an angel that God made especially for me and she deserved better than me. So I'm not going to complain about the small things in my life that are inconvenient, because I have seen what hell is like and I'm living in Heaven, so what could I complain about that would be worth complaining about.  

I knew that I had to reunite with my very first love and 2^nd cousin Wendy. She was a big part of who I am and why I’m married to the lady I’m married to now.  I was so apprehensive of even bringing up the subject but my wife was the one that actually brought up the idea of a reunion so we tried to set a date for the Labor Day weekend at my cousin Jean’s house. I had just started a new job and wasn’t sure whether or not I could get the time off and, low and behold, I didn’t even have to ask for the time off, it was already scheduled that way.  Now I ask you, is that not fate or what?  I could only hope that Ursula and Wendy would get along. I thought that the odds were against it but I had faith in my girls. They are as intelligent as they are beautiful and they also have pretty good taste in men.  Ha Ha!  The whole way there I had no clue what to talk about or what not to talk about with my wife.  I hadn’t kept any secrets from her. She knew the extent of how I felt about Wendy and I also hadn’t kept any secrets from Wendy about how much I love my wife.  I kind of felt like I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I so much wanted Wendy to like Ursula and I wanted Ursula to like my cousin Jean (Wendy’s mom) and her husband Jack, and my (2^nd) cousin Wendy. I had never met Jean before because she had moved to the West Coast while I was still a small child.  I find it almost unbelievable that I had never met Wendy and her brother when we were young kids as often as we were over at my aunt Lucille’s and Uncle Luther’s house. It has to be fate that we never met unitl we were in our late teens as if it was meant to be a much larger relationship in our life. I am a champion of fate or that things happen for a reason, so you see if everything had not worked as God had intended, I would not have the wonderful relationship that I now have with Wendy and I may not have found my wife Ursula.  And we may not have had this wonderful reunion that we had this Labor Day weekend. 

I enjoyed myself as much as I ever had in my life. We watched hummingbirds and cardinals and doves at the bird feeder and also watched as several deer were feeding on the back lawn and one of the fawn’s nursing for a very long time. It was simply magic and I guess that would be how to describe the whole weekend. It was simply magic, my wife and my very special cousin seemed to get along marvelously or maybe it was just the calm before the storm and I just haven’t felt their wrath yet but I really don’t think so. We talked about family and the old times and argued about whether it was 1974 or 1975 that Wendy and I met. I must admit I’ve never been that great with dates so I will bow to her recollection rather than mine because she seems to be a little better with dates.  We ate two wonderful meals that Jack and Jean had lovingly prepared. Jean was not feeling like herself because she has had hip problems and is going for an operation soon.  I pray that all goes well and that we will all be back together soon because I love and miss my family dearly.  My Aunt Lucille, Jean’s mother and Wendy’s grandmother, was my rock and my confidant when I needed her most when I was young. I loved her and my gentle giant of a man, my uncle Luther, very, very much.  It was almost like going home at my cousin Jean’s house and, of course, all of my aunt Lucille’s girls were always so very kind to me (maybe it was my curly hair and my blue eyes) and I am so appreciative to all of them forever.

During that summer romance oh so many years ago, my cousin Wendy and I had taken a picture standing in front of my little red VW Beetle and I had to recreate that picture at our reunion standing in front of my blue BMW.  I was so proud of being with my W’s then and now. You can’t believe how I felt back then and and how I feel now.  Oh, maybe I should enlighten you on what I mean by my W’s. I drove a little car back then, a vW and now I drive a bmW and my Women were by side each time, Wendy and my Wife. All of you people reading this could ask why I would do such a thing as to introduce my wife to my first love. Well, it was exactly what it should have been and more than I hoped it would be when they met and I guess the answer you seek is something so hard to describe that you would just had to have been there.  I will always have an extra special place in my heart for my lovely cousin Wendy, but I will go home with and love, cherish and honor my loving wife Ursula.  Thank you so much girls for making it so very special for me.  

P. S. Wendy is as pretty as I remember!

One of my favorite things to do on a Saturday as a kid was to get up early enough to catch Superman and get ready for the cinema serials that would come on later that morning.  I would have my jiffy pop ready along with the Mars candy bar, two original Oscar Mayer hot dogs, back when they actually tasted like a hot dog and, last but not least, a large sour dill pickle. 

I always thought that the reason that they got their name of serials was the fact that the cereal companies would sponsor tickets for children who had collected enough box tops from their cereal to obtain a ticket to the Saturday morning movie theater serials.

I can’t remember but I believe it was on channel 13, WHBQ, and there was A show called Adventure Time with Captain Bill Killebrew who hosted the show and you could see such serials as Zorro’s Fighting Legion, Flash Gordon, Tim Tyler’s Luck, Junior G-Men of the Air, and many others.

Most of them were about fighting the NAZI saboteurs that plagued the United States in the thirties and forties serials.  I don’t think I could’ve been much more than 10 or 12 at the time. I’ve tried looking online to find something about this series that ran for quite a while on Saturday mornings.  Back in those days Saturday mornings were exclusively for us kids and most of the programs were cartoons and live action shows similar to the Mickey Mouse Club, the Banana Split Show, HR Puff’n’Stuff and others.  I personally liked the mystery shows and the story style cartoons but I never did get into the puppet style shows like the Sheri Lewis Show or others like it. It was heaven on Saturday morning to us kids who had worked hard all week long on our school assignments to actually have something special for us.

Today there are at least six different channels running 24 hours a day that have children’s programming with some of the worst animation you’ll never see.  I personally thought that Hanna Barbera had set the bar as low as it could go until such great animation and yes, I’m being facetious, Ren and Stimpy, Two Stupid Dogs, and the absolute worst Adventure Time. I know I’m an old man and I don’t see the value in making the worst art work ever put before our children.  When I look back at the cartoon shows that we had, admittedly some of them were rehashed cartoon shorts from the cinema of the thirties, forties and fifties, but at least a straight line was a straight line.  You can call this stylistic art if you wish but the problem that I have with that is it still doesn’t look like quality work, it looks like something someone threw together quickly to get it over and done with for the next day’s shooting.  Some of the watercolor backgrounds that were used in the Saturday morning cartoons of our day were used over and over for various cartoons but they were great works of art. Some of them deserve to be hung in the best art galleries out there. 

I wish I had some kind of pull with the Cartoon Network to make them realize that this stylistic and poorly done art is destroying our children’s Saturday morning, so to speak. 

I still love to sit down and watch a good cartoon when I can find one. Luckily I have a lot of the Disney shorts on DVD and a reasonable number of the cliffhanger serials also on DVD.  They bring back so many memories of our old neighborhoods, running around the old apple orchard pretending to be FBI agents chasing the gangsters that would destroy our way of life.  Those days were so, so short and there will never be a time for any of our children like that.  I remember my dad saying to me that he used to take 25¢ and go to the movie theater and watch Donald Duck marathons all day Saturday that would give him entrance and enough money for a coke and popcorn.  Wow, even in my day it was a $1.25. Admittedly, I had a large coke, large buttered popcorn and a couple of those large sour dill pickles.

Even today the media that we have still intrigues me, most of which reminds me of my childhood,

such as Indiana Jones, Star Trek, Star Wars and Sherlock Holmes. Unfortunately, today’s ticket prices for a family of four make it almost impossible to make it the ritual that we did, and taking a date to a movie isn’t what it used to be because of the prices. By the time you pay for the ticket, popcorn and drink and candy for each of you, you’re lucky if you haven’t spent $50.00. I feel sorry for the young couples trying to find a way to get to know each other without spending so much money and not getting in trouble. I’ve thought so much about the way movies were presented in South America in the 50’s and 60’s. Villages would get together and project the movies on a blanket from village to village. Maybe we should start that trend here all over again. What do you think?

Halloween

This is a story that I’ve only shared with my close family members and it was both painful and joyful to write. I hope you enjoy it.

My father was a good man but he had his downfalls, just like everyone else. Since his death, I have learned more about him than I did in life and I don't forget but I do forgive. He was the type of man that was one way, his way, or the highway. I have heard most people say the same thing about their fathers and, I guess, in a lot of ways it's true and, then again, it's not really true in other ways. The one thing that I wish he had never said to me was that I was stupid. Not for my sake but that of my daughter (who just graduated from college and is continuing her higher education, I'm so proud of her!!!xoxox) and my grandchildren. I have fought hard not to say that word to them but it was imbedded in my brain. I try to stop myself when I use it and say they are not stupid, it is what they did that was stupid and that they are as smart as they want to be. I will tell them why I really use that word when they are old enough to understand the whole explanation. Their Great Grandfather got most of his parenting skills in the fields where you worked or you were punished, because what was made in the field kept the family going through the coming winter.

The life that my father led was normal for most of our parents for the late 30's up to the 50's. They were in their early twenties when we came along. Not much of a break to find out who you really were, was it? I proudly tell people that I started working when I was 13 and I haven't stopped yet. Kind of hollow, don't you think, when you look at what had to be done on the farm in the 30’s and 40’s in Mississippi. Even if you played sports, you still had to come home after and do your chores after the game. The schools in those days stopped when it was harvest time and at the end of school for planting time and the children had to help. Some schools today are talking about running all year long, oh, that was intermission, now back to my original story.

Harvest time is the time that we celebrate Halloween, All Hallows Eve, when witches and goblins come out and, speaking of which, this is the gist of my story. My Father had worked a long day at the refinery and came home tired and frustrated. He had gone out to get my brother and me Halloween costumes, late as usual, so there would be very few pickin’s in the store at that time. He bought my brother what I remember to be a cowboy costume and for me, what was it, oh my goodness, it was a witch’s costume. I'm a little boy, what was he thinking!! This had to be a joke, but it wasn't. He tried to force me to wear it. Can't you just imagine it, a little preschool boy that had been teased about his curly hair and called a little girl all his life (till he got big enough to frighten the other boys), in his fruit of the looms having a tantrum yelling that he would not go out dressed like a little girl in a skirt, even if it was a witches skirt. (I've always had a fascination for witches ever since, even my wife has two different colored eyes). I broke away, ran to my room, flopped down on my bed and cried myself to sleep. This was the worst Halloween ever. The next morning when I got up, outside my bedroom door I found a bag of trick or treat candy.

 

I never found out if it was my father or my brother that did that for me (or maybe my mother), but I like to think it was my big brother. Even if we never got along that much, I have always looked up to him and been proud of him and loved him. We were over 5 years apart and the times had changed so dramatically by the time I grew up. A little brother will always need his big brother. Now that I am an adult, I look back and feel like I understand my father a little bit more. He was a good man and I loved him too. We never seemed to see eye to eye either, but I know that he loved me and, just maybe, he didn’t know how to show it. 

Funniest Friend We Ever Had Robin Williams RIP

There have only been three celebrities that have passed away that affected me so deeply.  The first was Elvis Presley, the king of rock and roll, the second was Annette Funicello, America’s sweetheart, and the third was Robin Williams, the king of comedy, who died today.

  Mr. Williams seemed to be able to light up in any room that he walked into. He had a personality that exploded with a vibrancy that had not been seen but one other time before in a comedian that I know of and that was Jonathan Winters.  If you looked up comedian for our generation in the dictionary there would be a picture of Robin Williams with no explanation needed. How could you explain a mind that was so brilliant at comedy and so far above anyone else in his field. To have called Robin Williams a genius at his craft would not be an understatement but it still could not describe how great his talent really was.  I have seen comedy club skits where someone would throw an object onto the stage or Mr. Williams would get an object from a member of the audience and do 15 minutes of the most hilarious improvisational comedy that anyone could imagine.

  It saddens me so that Robin Williams has been taken from us at such an early age when we still needed the laughter and the happiness that he gave us so very desperately today.  I tried to think of whom to compare Robin Williams with but everyone I came up with, including Jonathan Winters, just didn’t seem to fit Robin Williams.  Mr. Williams was around when the comedy clubs were at their peak. Things like Second City and Saturday Night Live were getting the highest ratings possible for shows in their time slots.  Mr. Williams was packing in the comedy clubs at that time and he continued to the pack them in professionally at any venue he appeared at.  Mr. Williams reinvented itself and had a brilliant comedic movie career while still appearing at comedy clubs when he could.  He also appeared on television shows such as Mork and Mindy and his latest television show, the Crazy Ones.  He also proved himself and as a dramatic actor and Julliard proud. I can’t help but think that Mr. Williams needed us, his audience, almost as much as we needed him.  So much has been written about Robin Williams and I’m sure so much more will be written and, in doing so, I hope the world will be kind to this comedic giant whose only goal in life was to make us all smile and give us a laugh or two.

So please join me in a prayer or two for our lovely friend Mr. Robin Williams, because he did make you feel as if he was your best friend or a member of your family. What greater thing can one say of another human being than “he made me happy”.  Robin, my friend, we’ll miss you.

I have to tell you I never had considered the fact that anyone else had never tried a tomato sandwich. We called them mater sandwiches when I was a kid.  The tomatoes taste slightly different at various times of the year. Hothouse tomatoes and various types of tomatoes also taste different but I have to say the tomatoes that we got locally in Memphis were the best tasting tomatoes for the tomato sandwich of any place I’ve ever lived, so I didn’t eat them all that much after I had moved away, till one day I tried a slice of tomato from the ugliest tomatoes I had ever seen and they work perfect. I asked my wife if she wanted one and she said she’d never tried one. I was shocked that after 32 years I had never introduced her to a tomato sandwich. I had introduced her to fried green tomatoes and fried okra but I had let her down by not introducing her to the most delicious southern delicacy known to man. 

Of course, a lot of people may differ in their technique in preparing a tomato sandwich but here’s how I do it.  It has to be the regular white bread that we got as kids and real mayonnaise spread on the bread thickly, two generous slices of tomato a quarter inch thick are better and salted generously and then enjoyed to your heart’s content.  I never knew how lucky I was living in Memphis and enjoying the cuisine that Memphis had to offer.  I have always attributed the variety of delicious foods to the fact that Memphis is dead center of the south and was a major artery for the native Americans along the Mississippi River that early British, Irish and Spanish settlers and French Canadians used when fleeing from the tyranny of the British in Canada to Louisiana.  Because of the cotton plantations all around Memphis there were abundant slaves that brought their cuisine from Africa as well. I even think that my wife’s German family recipes influenced my cooking talents. So to summarize, we had the best of the Native American influence, the French Canadian influence, the Spanish influence and the African influence, and the best of these influences on our food in Memphis.  I don’t want to leave out the British and the Irish influence on the food that we know as Memphis cuisine.  I thoroughly believe that our mothers were influenced in some way by all of the blending of the cultural foods that passed through Memphis on its way south or west.  I have no proof of this other than to give you certain examples like a southern buttermilk biscuit. Where do you think the Southerners got the recipe for the southern biscuit?  I will give you my assumption by asking you to look at the recipes of the Scottish scone.  They mirror the southern biscuits in many ways. With a couple of exceptions they are identical.  Those exceptions are things that would have been difficult for the early Southern settlers to find, so the mothers and wives of the early settlers would have had to adapt and change the recipe to what they had on hand.  The same could be said of all of the ethnic cultures that passed through Memphis and there is some similarity to all of the foods that we serve on our tables today to all of the cultures and cuisines that were a great part in making up what I call Memphis fixin’s. 

My family came from farmers, wheel rites and trades people, but I think the earliest of my family were farmers and had pigs that they would raise to sell the better parts of meat to the butchers but they would keep things like the legs and feet, the head and the ribs that the butchers could not sell to those that could afford to buy their meat at a store.  Now you find such things like ribs and pig knuckles, ham hocks and other such meats that the farmers would make meals for their families with.  One of the biggest restaurants in Memphis that’s known worldwide serves the best dry rub ribs in the world.  If it had not been for the fact that the farmers could not sell these parts of the pig to the butchers, we might not have had the barbecued ribs that most of us love today.  So much of our culture has been blended and processed into what we know now.  I know all of you have had smoked or sugar cured ham and a biscuit for breakfast or you had biscuits and gravy. 

It’s kind of funny when you travel the United States and look at what the restaurants serve for breakfast and I’m gonna pick biscuits and gravy to make my example. I have seen in the western states that they use brown gravy made with either cornstarch or some other type of thickener for biscuits and gravy.  In the deep south, it’s what we call sawmill gravy which is grease flour and water, spiced with pork sausage mixed in to make the gravy.  As you travel up into the north east, it is just flour, salt, pepper and grease that makes up the gravy.  To give you a taste of East Tennessee cuisine, one of the main dishes that seems to have been a staple in the mountains of Tennessee is white beans and onions served together with cornbread and they don’t seem to use any other spices for their beans and onions.  I have to say that the restaurants and your tables in your homes serve way better food than you get here and like I’ve said to many people, you can’t get better food than you get in Memphis.  I even remember a place in Memphis on Park Avenue, I think, where they had a restaurant called the Barbecue Palace where you could get anything and everything barbecued and I don’t mean grilled on a grill, which brings up another interesting tidbit, in Canada if you put it on a grill that makes it barbecue and I’m not sure whether their wrong or I’m wrong but, to me, you can grill anything without it being barbecue. It’s the preparation and the sauce that makes it barbecue.  At the Barbecue Palace you could get their sample platter which had barbecued bologna, barbecued ham, barbecued beef brisket, barbecued pork shoulder pulled or chopped, and it even had barbecued spam which, from what I understand, is a Hawaiian delicacy. 

I really loved remembering the end of this school year picnics that we had at Charjean. All of our mothers would get together and make their most famous dishes trying to outdo one another and we, their children, would get the most marvelous meals ever created.  I remember the sweets, the meats, the vegetables, prepared in their family recipes for all of us to enjoy.  Our mothers did way much, much more than I have ever seen since those days for the parties that we had at school than they do today.  I can just smell the sugar cured ham that they prepared the way that their families had done for years. The aroma would just burst your taste buds wide open. 

They even went all out when we just made hamburgers and hot dogs with special mustards that they personally made, the ingredients that they put into the hamburgers and, one time, one mother even made the buns homemade herself. Who does that today?  I do still bake my own bread at times and there is nothing like homemade bread.  When we sat down to a meal at my house there was always either homemade biscuits or homemade corn bread and even sometimes there would be homemade yeast rolls.  My mother was not necessarily a baker when it comes to making homemade bread but my grandmother was and, Oh, what bread she made.  There are two smells in this world that will bring me to tears almost immediately because I remember my mother and my grandmother through those smells. One of them was homemade bread baking and the other was homemade fresh apple pie baking.  We lived right behind the apple orchard that later became Airways Junior High School and we could pick as many apples as we could take home and they were the green apples that I personally think make the absolute best pies because the blending of that tart sweet and cinnamon flavors along with the homemade pie crust were the most heavenly taste, well almost.

I personally think that the old cranked homemade ice creams that all of us were used to were absolutely the defining moment in sweet treats. 

I know all of you have your favorites and I’m sure they were passed down from one family to another or your spouse brought them into your family and it could even be possible that you picked them up from your neighbors or friends.  Food has defined the south as long as I can remember and I think that southern cooks have always been willing to experiment and adapt to their surroundings with new and exotic flavors.  If you are like me, I still long for the foods that my mother and grandmother made and that the ladies of our neighborhoods prepared for us when we were kids. 

Save Your Heritage

I have said this time and time again to all of you, any one that reads my posts you need to start writing down everything that you remember for your children your grandchildren and your great grandchildren.  The reason I am saying this is because I was too busy living my life to ask the questions I needed to two have found out where I came from and who my family are really was.  I have traced back my family tree to the early 1600s, both sides came from England to the United States.  But knowing the statistics is different than knowing who they were what they did.  I am a believer in the fact that what you’re family was, is what you now are. It is so disappointing when you have nothing to go by to try and trace your family tree.  So if you have parents, aunts, uncles,  grandparents, still living take the time I beg of you take the time to ask those questions that you will need to know to pass your heritage down to your descendants.  So once again I beg of you please start writing these things down and if you have older relatives still living record their voices or even better video the interview about your heritage for posterity.  The picture I’m going to add is from sometime around 1901-1902 of my grandmother who is the little baby in my great grandmother’s lap.

Through the Mirror to Graceland

I’ve made no secret my entire life of the fact that I liked early rock and roll. My musical heroes were Buddy Holly and the Crickets, Bill Haley and the Comets, Fats Domino, Chubby Checker, Jerry Lee Lewis and many others, but there was one young man that made the largest impact of anyone in music history on me and eventually on my life.  He came from the same area in Mississippi that my parents came from and there were even rumblings from my late relatives that we were kin to the Smith family on my mother’s mother’s side, just like everyone else that I grew up with.  His background was from sharecroppers, just like my family’s background from Mississippi was. What else can I say. I was always looking up to my greatest American dream, Elvis Aaron Presley.  He grew up in the same city that I grew up in, Memphis, Tennessee, and when he became famous, his home was just five miles from my house.

Being from Memphis, I had seen Elvis from time to time at Graceland, in concert and riding Star, his horse, at Graceland.  I even saw him once in his wife Priscilla’s white Stutz Bearcat pulling in to the gates of Graceland. I know that most of you might not understand the thrill of this poor little Memphis boy seeing his idol up close.

When I was in my teens, around 1974, I worked for a glass company part time and, one time, I was helping deliver mirrors that had been cut in some strange shapes and I didn’t understand why. Most mirrors that we cut were square or rectangular but all of these mirrors were cut at an angle on the top and the bottom and I could not figure out why until we arrived in front of his house on Highway 51, aka, 3734 Elvis Presley Boulevard.  I was starting to get excited as I realized that, just maybe, we would get to see him. Believe it or not, when we started to pull the mirrors off the truck, the older gentleman with me asked someone where they wanted the mirrors delivered and a small wiry gentleman said “wait just a minute”, and sure enough, dressed in a sweat suit with a towel around his neck, with his hair disheveled, he said “OK, you can just put them over there in that building” which I knew to be his Fan Club office.  Wow, Elvis had actually spoken too us! At least that’s how I perceived it. I believe these were the mirrors that ended up on the main staircase of Graceland.

I used to say that that was my only claim to fame, but I have had many more encounters with greatness since that day. One of the biggest thrills of my life was seeing a beautiful young woman on the hillside beside the driveway, under one of those very tall trees, just up from the gates of Graceland in August of 1979. We met because of Elvis. She was a fan and came to see where he had lived and wanted to walk where he walked. I know that y’all may think I’m crazy, but I think very possibly being drawn to Graceland was what led me to meet the love of my life.  So nowadays, I am more than grateful to Elvis for his wonderful effect on my life. If it weren’t for Elvis, I would never have met my wife. Our 35^th anniversary of the day we met is coming up this August. Thanks Elvis!