Hate

You know it seems to me that it’s so much wasted energy to be mean to people.  I have always tried my entire life to be kind.  I know it’s easier to learn to be hateful but it takes more time and energy to be hateful.  The golden rule doesn’t mean that you wait to see how people will treat you before you treat them with kindness.  I believe that a kind word will take you further in this life and the next than saying something terrible to anyone.  And I’ve always been of the opinion that if you try to be nice and it’s not well received then turn around and walk away.  Yes, I’ve had my feelings hurt many times when I’ve said a kind word and got the opposite reply back.  I must tell you that you will get more kindness from people if you start off being kind yourself.  If you want to fight, believe me there are people out there that will oblige you.  I’ve always liked the saying “I’m a lover not a fighter”, but I must tell you I am neither, I guess I’m somewhere in between.  I have stood my ground many a time when someone was hitting me in the face with their fists and not defending myself. It will usually end the same way, they give up and go away. I don’t advise this method of taking care of hateful people because I can tell you it’s very painful.  Luckily I have found new strategies to keep me out of those troubles.  I’ve found it’s just not worth the trouble and effort to be a hateful human being and if I have to be that miserable to hate everyone else I would have no reason to go on living. 

Yes, I’m struggling right now with some depression from losing my job but there is good news on that front too. I started at the end of July at Walmart.  All of you who have given me words of comfort and prayed for me and given me information, you don’t know how much it has helped me.  My outlook on life has never changed. I have always thought that friendship was something you sought after love from someone and is something that you cherish and the only true thing worth fighting for in your life is your family.  I love my God and I don’t mean religion. My Savior died for me and anyone else who will ask me to follow them, I just can’t see following people that say they are the right one and only religion when there seems to be so much corruption within every religion.  That doesn’t mean, however, that I don’t believe in assembling with others even if it in a in a particular religion because just as it is in every aspect of life, there is good and there is evil.  Evil gets more of the press, and gossip because it’s more sensational than good.  If you don’t believe me, pick up any newspaper in our great country and try and find good news. I will bet you that over 90% of any major newspaper and any cable or network news you can find is all over 90% bad news.  I have gotten to the point that I just don’t want all of that negativity in my life. 

You see, I’m one of those 1960s flower children that learned the greatest word in the human language is love and John Lennon had it almost right when he sang about “all you need is love” but I would add a good and sincere prayer to God is all you need.  I have found out also that people that will pray for you sincerely can work miracles.  When my prayers were combined with others, no matter whom or what we’re praying for, it will work. Sometimes it may take a little while to actually see the miracle of God’s handiwork, or what we pray for isn’t exactly what he has in mind, but remember he knows more of what’s best for us than we do and those prayers are always answered.  So to those of you who prayed for me, thank you from the bottom of my heart and I want to know that I love you not because of what you have done for me this time, but because you were always there and I was just too stupid or blind to see all the friends that I really do have.  I can’t help but tell you again how much you mean to me and thank you every single one of you whether you prayed for me are not, whether you even like me are not, it makes absolutely no difference to me, you were part of me, you all are part of me and you’ll always be part of me.  I remember two brothers, both of them older than me and I believe what I heard is that they have both passed away and I am so sorry to hear that even though I was the recipient of a broken nose and many black eyes from both of them.  I can hold no anger or animosity toward them because they are part of who I am.  I truly believe that somewhere within them they cared enough about me to be angry at me for whatever reason it was.  They were not the only ones that ever struck me in anger and I guess I did rub some people the wrong way, but to anyone and everyone who I have ever hurt or made angry, you have my sincere apologies.  I just had to get this off my chest because I’ve had my share of bad news this year and I’m feeling a little down and I needed to reaffirm my heart that I can’t let bad news turn me into someone I am not.