My family, when I was small, was a very tightknit family. We would see either my father's mother and father or my mother's mother and father at least once a month if not more. My father's mother and father worked for the city of Water Valley in Mississippi. It was a small town and a wonderful place to explore as small child.

My grandfather did the maintenance and custodial duties for the courthouse across the street from the jailhouse that they also oversaw for the city. My grandmother cooked and my grandfather took care of the other duties for the jailhouse. You might think that the lessons a small child could learn in such a place would be bad or even haunting memories. It was just the opposite. I can remember loved ones coming to see their family that were incarcerated in the jailhouse and it seemed to me that they were very loving and caring people.

I know that my grandfather and grandmother were extremely loving and caring toward us. I remember one morning, in particular, I was just waking up when I heard our little dog, Rusty, a Pekingese and chihuahua mix breed scratching and whining on the bed across from me. There was a young girl in the bed that I did not know then and she was still sleeping. As quietly as I could I begged my little dog to come to me and leave her alone. My little puppy came to me and we fell back asleep in our bed.

When I finally got up and was having breakfast I met the young lady who was sleeping across from me and, as far as I can remember, she was an orphan and had run away from the orphanage. The church that my grandmother went to was trying to place her in a home. She was staying with most of the parishioners until they could find a permanent solution for her. I heard her explaining to my grandmother that she woke up hearing a sweet little voice calling to a puppy to leave her alone and let her sleep. My grandmother cautioned me not to be too inquisitive. Turns out that the girl had had an extremely hard life and had lost her parents at a very young age and it might be a hurtful reminder for her of those things.

Just as in any story, there is the good with the bad. One day, while we were playing in the main room of the living quarters of the jailhouse, an ambulance pulled up and brought someone into the house and lay them into my grandmother and grandfather's bed. Even though it wasn't meant for us to overhear, I heard my cousin Sonny telling my grandmother that his wife did not know yet that they had lost their baby and she was still under heavy sedation and that she would soon be coming out of it and they would have to tell her. I remember thinking lost their baby, then why aren't we out looking for it. Maybe we can find it before anything bad happens. About that time I could hear my cousin's wife moaning and calling for Sonny and her baby, Sonny tried to tell her to rest and not get excited. She seemed even more agitated as Sonny tried to direct the conversation away from the baby and finally, he told her that they lost the baby. I never heard screams of terror and heartbreak as I did that day. I still feel it within my soul the pain that she had, even though I was too young to understand, it hurt me deeply.

It was meant for me to understand and to hear and grow with the memory of that day within my mind and heart. You see I went through the same thing with my wife when we lost the only chance of having a child in our life. When I heard it I had that same feeling that I had before, even though I could not scream and cry to keep my wife calm and help her through this. I was totally horrified and saddened more than I had ever experienced. I think God gave me a gift that day in the jailhouse in Water Valley. He was telling me then that it would be all right to let the pain out and keep the love for my wife within.

Yes, it was one of the best places in the world to learn how to be a man. That jailhouse has always had a very special place in my heart. Not just because we could play in the parking lot of the courthouse and the backyard of the jailhouse, it was because of the love that surrounded us in those days no matter what house we were in.