Yesterday was Father's Day and I know I should've been thinking of my father and I was in a way which I will tell you later. But first I want to tell you what my daughter did for me and the memories that it brought back. She drove to Memphis to pick up my granddaughter from her father who she was visiting and then came straight to my work and brought me a hot meal from Cracker Barrel. My grandkids, my daughter and my wife set down with me and we ate our dinner. I ask you what more could a father ask for than for his daughter to think that much of him.

It reminded me of the Father's Day that we had when I was young and we would travel to Hurricane, Mississippi to visit my mother's father. Or were we actually going there for the wonderful home-cooked meals that my grandmother and my aunts prepared which my father seemed to love? There's where I was thinking of my father.

You see in both my mother and father's family, food was the soul that brought the family together and it was my grandmother Whitehead that was the ultimate cook in our families.

My grandparents lived through the first world war, the depression and the second world war where they had to sacrifice, to make the best of what they had. She not only learned how to make things taste magical, she learned how to make them last and how to preserve and do things that are more of a lost art today. I wish I had set down with her and found out more of her secrets rather than having to now try and discover what those secrets are without her. Even my mother didn't know some of my grandmother's secrets even though they cooked so many times side-by-side with my aunts.

I know I have told you about the wonderful buttermilk biscuits that only she could make and the wonderful juicy southern pecan cake she would bake. But everything she made was just unbelievably delicious, it was a paradise for a young boy and teenager to set down to her table, not just because of the magical flavors that one could explore, it was also what went into the preparation, the love and the women all talking furiously while making these dishes and having the greatest times of their lives. It kind of reminds me of the Randy Travis song "Forever and Ever Amen" where old men sit and talk about old women and old women talk about old men. It was so unbelievable you could taste the love that these women put into it with every bite you would take.

It is so true that the love between the generations seems to have changed, we don't prepare things as much as we used to, we just go out and buy them. I guess my point is that just like my daughter making a 6 hour drive back and forth to Memphis and then bringing me the hot food. It wasn't necessarily the food, it was the love that made her do it that just warmed my soul. So it's also the meals that my grandmother prepared to show us how much she loved us. If she knew we were coming, there would be biscuits galore made that day so that I would have some fresh biscuits when I got there because she knew how much I loved them so and she loved to prepare them for me.

I know your family too comes from the same generation that mine did, so when one of the women in your family prepared food on Father's Day it was to show how much they loved all the Fathers in their family past and present. What more could you ask for on a Fathers Day!

Peace and Love

I Believe the way I do for a reason, I have lived my lifetime trying to do good in this world, as, I'm sure you have too. I don't understand the hate that I read from those that I once knew. We grew up in an age that was about trying to find love and peace.

I have had God at my side to help me from being mean or hating anyone for any reason. It is hard to see the real truth without the filter He provides me with. Just because we don't agree with one or the other doesn't make either of us wrong or bad people, it makes us human. Hating one another make us inhumane.

Times have changed I have seen people cursing someone for no real reason. People that are supposed to protect us taking advantage of their position to put themselves above the law. All I seem to see and hear is bad things. The thing is that we don’t hear about the good because that doesn’t sell for the advertisers, so it’s not in the papers or on the news. We live in a time that has instant broadcasting of events. All that they put out is the negative news. I do assure you that there is more good than bad, keep your faith and look to Him for the answers.

No wonder we are polarized in this country, we don’t talk to each other anymore we just snap or tweet and text each other. You can’t understand the pain or the love that someone is conveying with the words on a page. When you look into someone’s eyes and tell them how you feel they know what you mean, mad, sad or lovingly because you convey it with emotion that a written word does not have the capability of.

So take a step back or take a breath before you react. Remember to turn the other cheek or shake the dust from your sandals and keep moving.  After all, we all came from Adam.

My family, when I was small, was a very tightknit family. We would see either my father's mother and father or my mother's mother and father at least once a month if not more. My father's mother and father worked for the city of Water Valley in Mississippi. It was a small town and a wonderful place to explore as small child.

My grandfather did the maintenance and custodial duties for the courthouse across the street from the jailhouse that they also oversaw for the city. My grandmother cooked and my grandfather took care of the other duties for the jailhouse. You might think that the lessons a small child could learn in such a place would be bad or even haunting memories. It was just the opposite. I can remember loved ones coming to see their family that were incarcerated in the jailhouse and it seemed to me that they were very loving and caring people.

I know that my grandfather and grandmother were extremely loving and caring toward us. I remember one morning, in particular, I was just waking up when I heard our little dog, Rusty, a Pekingese and chihuahua mix breed scratching and whining on the bed across from me. There was a young girl in the bed that I did not know then and she was still sleeping. As quietly as I could I begged my little dog to come to me and leave her alone. My little puppy came to me and we fell back asleep in our bed.

When I finally got up and was having breakfast I met the young lady who was sleeping across from me and, as far as I can remember, she was an orphan and had run away from the orphanage. The church that my grandmother went to was trying to place her in a home. She was staying with most of the parishioners until they could find a permanent solution for her. I heard her explaining to my grandmother that she woke up hearing a sweet little voice calling to a puppy to leave her alone and let her sleep. My grandmother cautioned me not to be too inquisitive. Turns out that the girl had had an extremely hard life and had lost her parents at a very young age and it might be a hurtful reminder for her of those things.

Just as in any story, there is the good with the bad. One day, while we were playing in the main room of the living quarters of the jailhouse, an ambulance pulled up and brought someone into the house and lay them into my grandmother and grandfather's bed. Even though it wasn't meant for us to overhear, I heard my cousin Sonny telling my grandmother that his wife did not know yet that they had lost their baby and she was still under heavy sedation and that she would soon be coming out of it and they would have to tell her. I remember thinking lost their baby, then why aren't we out looking for it. Maybe we can find it before anything bad happens. About that time I could hear my cousin's wife moaning and calling for Sonny and her baby, Sonny tried to tell her to rest and not get excited. She seemed even more agitated as Sonny tried to direct the conversation away from the baby and finally, he told her that they lost the baby. I never heard screams of terror and heartbreak as I did that day. I still feel it within my soul the pain that she had, even though I was too young to understand, it hurt me deeply.

It was meant for me to understand and to hear and grow with the memory of that day within my mind and heart. You see I went through the same thing with my wife when we lost the only chance of having a child in our life. When I heard it I had that same feeling that I had before, even though I could not scream and cry to keep my wife calm and help her through this. I was totally horrified and saddened more than I had ever experienced. I think God gave me a gift that day in the jailhouse in Water Valley. He was telling me then that it would be all right to let the pain out and keep the love for my wife within.

Yes, it was one of the best places in the world to learn how to be a man. That jailhouse has always had a very special place in my heart. Not just because we could play in the parking lot of the courthouse and the backyard of the jailhouse, it was because of the love that surrounded us in those days no matter what house we were in.

I have said time and time again that I travel a different path than most. The path that was put before me, I chose it of my own free will and I will answer for the times that I strayed from the path and followed the path of the world. I and I alone must bear the burden that I have chosen. There have been many of you that have walked along with me for various stages of my life's path. Your company along my way was enjoyable and I was truly grateful for having you there. My wife and my family have followed me along my path, sometimes not so happily, but they followed me in the good times and the bad.

I have also followed along with a lot of you on your life's path and He who gave us our path also put forth different paths for each one of us at various times. We lose those that were following along with us and gain others that cross our paths and we keep losing and gaining many friends along our journey. Some of those would be extremely important. Others were just there when we needed them. The very special ones left a piece of themselves with us and we gave a piece of ourselves to them when they left.

I sometimes think that some of them were there just to keep us company from being lonely or we were there to keep them company. I hope out of the thousands of people I have met in my lifetime that at least one of them can say, ”he was a good soul and I'm glad he passed my way”. I have walked my path with many people that I did not even know their name, but they were a part of what makes up who I am, each and every step taken was taken with purpose and most of them were taken with good intentions in mind.

Unfortunately, every step that I took may not have been good. I just hope that I did not lead anyone off the path He had given them. I have read and tried to keep the knowledge of those that came before me. Those that actually traveled with He who gave us our paths left us with writings that give us the truth, if we are only willing to accept the truth of what our path should and should not be.

For those that accept His teachings and follow what was laid before us as our path, keep in mind, He gave us the choice to follow or not. He also gave us a better choice than that of the world. So when you give someone the knowledge of His gifts and a path He will lay before them, it is not your choice it is theirs.

Whatever happened to those kids?

I looked in the mirror the other day and I saw a strange old man with white sideburns looking back at me. I asked this old man what had happened to the young boy that used to look back at me. The old man said nothing. I asked my wife what happened to those kids that used to live here. She told me to sit down and have my breakfast.

I ate quietly and thought I must find these kids that were so happy and full of life that I once knew. What could've made them go away. Had I done something to make them unhappy? I walked by the playground that is next to the junior high school that they both went to and I could almost hear the kids laughing and playing on the playground and in the schoolyard. What happened to all the houses, they were all gone, not a one was still there.

The trees were still there, even the old tulip poplar tree that bent in the wind of the many thunderstorms we used to have was still standing where it stood when my house was still there. I looked down the street to see if I could find my friend’s houses but alas they were all gone too. The roar of a jet aircraft overhead from people coming and going to our airport was still there.

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What happened to all the kids in this neighborhood that I used to play with? Where had they gone, had something come and picked them up and moved them all away? What could cause this kind of devastation and leave me here all alone in my memories and thoughts of times gone by?

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I could tell you where all those kids went that used to play in the street, play softball at the park or go to that junior high school to learn, I could have told you, but it just seems, that those kids are so far away now, it is hard to see their shining faces looking back at me. Why did they go away and will they ever come back, is this the way it has to be.

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My wife filled my cup of coffee and awakened me from my thought and she told me that those kids had all grown old just like us. It makes me wonder if she doesn't understand that I seem to be the only one that has grown old because when these old man's eyes gaze upon her he sees the lovely young girl that walked down the aisle and took him as her husband so many years ago. Surely she can see how puzzled I am looking back at her because she hasn't aged a day to me.

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